The Five Sacred Benchmarks of Viral Video

A plea to clients: Stop getting me excited about viral video ideas!

Recently in my work I finally lost the will to come up with another great set of viral video ideas only to have clients label them as "too risky". So, I decided, along with others on my team that in our capabilities presentation to our clients we would clearly define what makes something viral. , Before any work was assigned and during our first introductory meeting, we were chopping viral off at the knees.

We just couldn't spend another brainstorming session laughing our asses off at all of the great ideas that poured out of our collective twisted minds only to have our ideas routed from the battlefield of fringe tactics. So in this introductory presentation we set our rules. Perhaps it's more correct to call it one rule. And so with great aplomb I give you my masterpiece...

The Five Sacred Benchmarks of Viral Video
It's simple. People do not spread around your content unless they feel like it will increase their social value with friends, family and in some cases, strangers. No one is going to send a link to 30 of their friends that drives traffic to a video of grass growing lazily in a lush prairie town front yard. People aren't going to send around marketing messages either, unless there is a real, appreciable "wow factor".

Crafting a piece of content that satisfies one of the five sacred rules takes massive courage and a willingness to fail utterly. Everyone wants the next viral hit but very few marketing managers are willing to risks their jobs to get it. So without further adieu, I present the five benchmarks that all marketers should hold up to their content ideas, asking the question do I have one of these in my anxious hands?

1. Vulgarity: Lacking in cultivation, perception or taste, morally crude
If you really want to get people's attention make them feel bad about being human. Two girls one cup anyone? How about the reaction videos of people vomiting from watching two girls one cup? How about me spending three hours watching videos of guys breaking limbs doing skateboard tricks. Nothing spreads a video around faster than something that we all find repugnant or at least very unfortunate but can't seem to turn away from.

Here is one of the best examples of a vulgar marketing piece that I had forwarded to me more times than King Henry killed wives.



2. Sweet and Cute
Puppies kissing, babies playing in soap, polar bears romping through icy fields. It won't get spread by everyone, but the sweet and cute will play with the Mom/Grandma crowd all day. How about the wedding proposal done at a baseball game in front of 4 million fans where the girl is crying her eyes out and the whole stadium is freaking out...beautiful.

This video was viewed an astounding 4.5 million times!




3. Hilarious
Honestly, how many times have you gone onto YouTube and watched "Dick in a Box"? Not enough I'll warrant....Oh god I just stopped writing this blog for 5 minutes to watch it twice..."Over at your parents house, a Dick in a Box! Maybe at the grocery store, a Dick in a Box..." Sweet Jesus I love the internet!




4. Ridiculous
How about any video of Bill O'Reily on YouTube going ballistic on some unsuspecting guest and or coworker?




5. Stunning
This category encompasses a lot of things and depends largely on the perspective of the user. Generally things that fall into this category could include conspiracy alien videos, a totally drunk major political candidate, hookers caught on tape, a guy who falls from a 10 story building and walks away. The key is that is has to be something that simply defies not only the normal but the abnormal as well.

Couldn't find anything offhand on YouTube for this one but I think you get the point.


Respect the Viral!
It's important for marketers to search for that next big social landscape changing attention device. There's no question that viral video is a part of that. But most of what we consider viral online is created by organizations like Saturday Night Live who are trying to be outrageous or individual people who simply have nothing to lose or in some cases, everything to gain.

I wish that every client could work with content inside the rules but the truth is, everyone can't. For those that can, I await you anxious to blow you away! For those that can't...please quit teasing me.